Three factors influence whether people will take your advice. First, advice that is costly (obtained from professionals) is given more weight, especially when the issue at hand is complicated. People also are more likely to accept advice when the person giving the advice is more experienced and knowledgeable than the person doing the asking. Third, whether you take someone’s advice depends on how you are feeling. People who are feeling more confident in their decisions tend to rely on advice less often. If you are experiencing feelings that are tangential to your decision, like anger, those feelings can still impact whether you take someone’s advice.
How do you increase your odds of someone taking your advice?
Make Sure They Want Your Input
If you are frustrated that someone is not taking your advice, ask yourself if they sought your counsel in the first place. While well-meaning, unsolicited advice is less likely to be used, particularly if the recipient feels you are overstepping your bounds. This conundrum can be solved by asking, “Would you like my take on this?” If the person says no, remember that it is not personal. It could be that the person feels that they have collected all the data they need in order to make a decision, and further input could push them into “information overload.”
Give a Quick Summary of Your Credentials or Source
If you experienced a similar situation, share it with the other person. The amount of self-disclosure you use is up to you. Keep in mind that you cannot guarantee confidentiality. Whatever you share with this person can be shared with others. If you have specific training in an area, whether that is a degree, certification, or day-long seminar, state that to your advisee. While this may feel like bragging, you are stating why your advice has merit. As you read earlier, people are more likely to take your advice if you have more expertise or training than the advisee.
Determine Your Goal in Giving Advice
There are the words we say, and then the message behind those words. And they don’t necessarily match. By giving advice to this person, are you trying to improve their quality of life? Are you helping them get a promotion? Are you trying to influence them to go with a particular company or product? Make sure that your goals align with your advisee’s needs.
It may be that your goal in giving advice is simply that you want to help out a fellow human being. That is completely fine, and good for you for reaching out. Giving advice has an added benefit. When you give advice, you tend to achieve more and build your own sense of competency.
If you are in an ongoing advising relationship, check in with your advice-giving goals regularly to see if your goals have changed. This is particularly important if you feel “stuck” with your advisee. It may be that the advice you are giving doesn’t match what they are looking for.
Disclose Any Conflicts of Interest
Your advisee needs information on choosing a company that makes widgets. You know a company that, in your opinion, makes the best widgets around. You hold them in such high esteem that you have been purchasing widgets from them for years. It also helps that you’ve been friends with the owner for years, and he’s a pretty trustworthy guy. It’s important to disclose that information when giving advice on widget suppliers. A simple, “I like the pricing and quality of ABC Widget Inc. widgets, but just to disclose, they’ve been our supplier for years, and the owner is a close friend.” If you don’t disclose this fact, the chances are that your advisee will learn of your connection. This then discounts your advice, because you will possibly be viewed as less than transparent. Your advisee may wonder what other information you may have held back.
Likewise, disclose if there is a financial conflict of interest. Let’s say you own stock in ABC Widget Inc. Disclose this to your advisee if you are recommending the company to him or her. You may be required to do this according to your company’s standard operating procedures, particularly if you own over a certain dollar amount of stock. If you are giving personal advice, a simple, “I’ve used ABC Widget for years, but just to disclose, I own stock in the company.” If you are giving personal advice, you don’t need to disclose how much stock. However, if you are speaking on behalf of a company, make sure you know their rules on financial disclosure.
Check Your Biases
Biases are part of human nature. Delineate your possible biases to determine if you are the right person to give advice on a topic. Your advisee wants information on the best widget suppliers. In the past six months, you have had some not-so-pleasant interactions with a widget supplier XYZ Widget. Your orders weren’t filled in a timely manner, and you received nary a response from the company. Here’s where things get a little tricky. Do you tell your advisee to not get widgets from XYZ? Or do you not mention your issues with XYZ, and direct the focus of your advice to the names of other suppliers instead? Keep in mind that what you say to the advisee could be shared with the company you criticized. If an advisee asks you about your experiences with XYZ Widget, you can simply state, “I would go with ABC Widget, or any others on the list I sent you.” One could argue that in a personal relationship, you may feel comfortable telling your advisee your horror story with XYZ Widget, but again keep in mind that this information may get back to them. Choose your words carefully.
Check Emotions
Find a time to meet with your advisee that is conducive to both of your schedules — neither of you is rushed. As you read above, tangential emotions can change whether someone takes your advice. Provide food and drink to your advisee. Nourishment usually helps everyone reach a calmer state when talking about hot topics.
If you’ve had a rough day and you feel that you just aren’t in the right mindset to give adequate advice, let your advisee know that it’s been a long day, and you want to make sure you are on point and can give them the best advice possible. Usually your advisee will appreciate that you were looking out for them — and that increases your credibility.
Check in with Your Advisee
During your conversation, ask your advisee if they have any further questions and if you answered their questions adequately. If you feel that you have not verbalized a point well, you can add, “I’m not sure the way I said that was exactly what I wanted to express. Did that make sense?” Ask your advisee to follow-up with you later about how things went for him or her. Consider adding a time frame, such as “follow-up with me in a couple of weeks to let me know how everything went.” This feedback is valuable information not only for your advisee to process, but it also helps you learn more about your advice-giving skills and breadth of knowledge. If you don’t hear from your advisee in a fair amount of time, a quick follow-up contact is appropriate, reiterating that you are available for any further consultation.
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October 23, 2019 at 01:34PM
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How To Give Advice So People Will Listen - Forbes
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