Often when we think of living a balanced life, we focus on two things: work and family. But a truly balanced life really has five key components: It should also include our romantic lives, self-care (including exercise and hobbies) and our friends. While we may not always give all five areas equal time (a new baby or a work deadline can sometimes shift our life balance), in general, work, family, love, self-care and friends are all equally important. The good news is that friends tend to be less demanding of our time than family members and bosses, so tending to our friendships can take up a lot less time than other demands. Here are some tricks for giving your friendships more time and attention.
Schedule friend dates. Just as you might schedule a date night or a business meeting, it’s important to build friendship maintenance into your weekly schedule. Friend dates can be squeezed in around morning coffee or lunch so they don’t take time away from children, romantic partners or work deadlines. If your home life will allow it, give yourself a friends’ night out once or twice a month, rotating the friends with whom you spend time. When life gets hectic because of parenting or work demands, your friendships tend to be the first to suffer. But if you schedule friend dates regularly, your friendships will stay strong no matter what challenges are ahead.
A few minutes of friendship goes a long way. I’ve never forgotten an exchange with my friend Julie Mason, now host of the Sirius radio program “The Press Pool,” when we were both new reporters at The Houston Chronicle. I stopped by her desk with a question and noticed she was on deadline. “That’s O.K.,” she said, turning around to show me I had her full attention. “I’ve always got five minutes for a friend.” The moment made such an impression on me that I’ve tried to make it my mantra: “I’ve always got five minutes for a friend.” And I’ve also remembered the importance of body language — turning to give them my full attention (and putting down my phone or work) when I see them. While it’s true that some friends are more high-maintenance than others, in general, our friends are more understanding and less demanding than most people in our lives. Don’t avoid friends because you can’t give them hours of your attention. It takes only a few minutes of listening and care to make a connection and reinforce the bonds of friendship. Take five minutes to call or text, and just tell a friend you are thinking about them.
Consistency matters more than frequency. Creating a tradition — even if it’s infrequent — is one of the best ways to sustain a friendship when life gets busy. My mother-in-law has joined an annual reunion of her college cheerleader squad for the past 60 years. An editor I know has met with a group of grade school friends every New Year’s Eve for the past 40 years. Look at the calendar and start a new annual tradition with your friends (a joint birthday celebration, a National Dog Day dog walk, an adult Halloween treat night or a tax-day cocktail). If you want more frequent time together, check your schedules and think about the potential for a consistent monthly meetup. It doesn’t take much effort to start a tradition. One of my good friends, a teacher and actress, has classes most days, but we discovered that both of our calendars are open on Wednesday mornings. Now we meet about one morning a month at a favorite diner in our neighborhood.
Exercise with friends. Scheduling exercise with a friend is a great way to stay connected, and it has the added bonus of boosting your physical wellbeing.. It can be a weekly walk or a twice-weekly run — whatever works to get the two of you in the same space with time to talk.
Take a class. We have limited time for both our hobbies and our friends, so why not nurture both needs at the same time and bring a friend in on the fun. If you’ve signed up for an art class or a cake-decorating or cooking class, invite your friends to join you. And if you get a similar invitation, just say yes, even if it’s a new hobby you haven’t tried.
"how" - Google News
October 28, 2019 at 09:51PM
https://ift.tt/2pXIB1K
How to Be a Better Friend - Smarter Living Guides - The New York Times
"how" - Google News
https://ift.tt/2MfXd3I
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "How to Be a Better Friend - Smarter Living Guides - The New York Times"
Post a Comment