In other words, Grindr users play “rock” – the sneaker or free floating mating strategy – more often. This is a successful strategy, since the users tend to be a sub-culture playing the “game” within wider predominantly monogamous cultures. As we learned from the lizards, while any of the three main strategies can work, the “underdog” strategy that beats the trending one tends to do best. For Grindr users, the underdog sneaker (rock) beats the dominant pressures of cultural monogamy (scissors).
But when a dating app itself then develops its own culture and norms the advantage might go to someone playing a different strategy. This is what you see on Tinder, for example. One industry study showed that a big chunk – 42% – of Tinder users are sneakers. In this case, a Tinder app user is more successful as a harem-minder. According to the biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, you should not follow more than nine dating app profiles simultaneously. This, too, fits with the upcoming underdog theory. On Tinder, the harem-minder beats a sneaker, like paper beats rock.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by online dating, and dating in general, pick your app (or pub) depending on what type you are… and be true to it. If you’re a “sneaker”, go to where monogamists hang out. You’re more likely than a rival monogamist to get lucky there. (Of course, other factors play into this too: we see people who don’t follow a social norm as a risk-taker and risk-taking can be attractive to potential mates, signalling high testosterone in particular). Do the Bad Boy or Pretty Woman stereotypes ring a bell?
And remember that, although harem-minders, monogamists and sneakers may all have equal chances of success in the mating game, each type invades the trending type. If you’re a monogamist, in other words, you’re more likely to end up with a sneaker. That might be bad news if you’re afraid of getting cheated on – then again, if you’re a harem-minder you’re more likely to get “pinned down” by a mate. But knowing which arenas reward which types of “players” can, at the very least, help you choose your game, and strategy, wisely.
It’s also always worth remembering, much like in rock, paper, scissors, we can always change how we the play game too.
* Manu Dal Borgo is a game theory lecturer at University College London and British Academy Fellow at University of Cambridge. You can follow her on Twitter at @m_dal_borgo
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