DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer, I spent time around a few people I have known for years, and it was troubling, to say the least.

Harriette Cole 

Two of these family friends are frail and sick. It is hard to watch people who seem to be dying but are not accepting their situation.

One friend in particular is stubborn and bull-headed. I tried to help him a few times with simple tasks, but he wouldn’t accept any help. He still thinks he is strong and fit even though he is incredibly frail.

How do you help somebody who doesn’t want it? I can only imagine it’s going to get worse in the coming months. I know his wife could use some support, too.

Want To Help

DEAR WANT TO HELP: Perhaps the best way you can help is to be there for his wife.

Offer to support in whatever ways she may need. It could be picking up groceries or giving them a ride to the doctor. Just being a listening ear when things get tough could be helpful. Stay in touch with her regularly. Your support as a friend will likely count for a lot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss has no respect for my time. I am considered a junior executive at my company, and I have a long list of tasks that I am supposed to complete daily. However, whenever my boss needs something, she expects me to drop everything and attend to the issue of the moment.

It is impossible for me to get all my work done when she is constantly interrupting me. What’s worse is that at the end of the week or month, depending upon when she checks on things, she will berate me for not completing something that was on my list. Never mind that I didn’t even have a second to do that thing because I was too busy putting out a thousand fires that she threw at me.

How can I become successful in this position if it seems like my boss is setting me up for failure?

Overwhelmed

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Rather than constantly reacting to the barrage of last-minute requests, it is time for you to be proactive.

Step back and do an evaluation of the work you have been completing and that which you are tasked to do. Review your hours and how you have been using your time. Look to see how you might be better able to complete the regular duties while also making space for last-minute requests. Look to see if you can create flexibility in your schedule to get them all done. Creating order may help you find time to be organized and fluid at once.

Learn to speak up. When your boss gives you tasks to complete, ask which ones should be the priorities. You can include the items already on the list along with the new tasks. If you do not believe you can complete everything in a timely manner, point that out and ask if something can be moved to the next day or week. Make a note of whatever your boss says so that it is documented.

Start giving daily written updates as to what has or has not been accomplished. Holding yourself accountable and sharing that accountability with your boss will demonstrate your productivity and help you feel less overwhelmed and more in control.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.